The other day, I saw a man who I have known for a few years who spends his days (and possibly nights) in the courtyard of the church where I pick up my CSA box. I have seen him around town, bought him a cup of coffee, and chatted with him a few times. I know that he is a little reality-challenged, but he’s a nice guy.

As I was leaving with my vegetables this week, he said, “Are you pregnant?” Or possibly, “Is your name Frank?”–but I think it was the former. “No,” I said breezily and walked away. When I got to my car, I played it over in my mind. “What?! Really?!” was the gist my response.

I’m laughing now, but at first I thought my absence at yoga class must have gone on much too long.

Another day has gone by and I still didn’t make it to that yoga class at the YMCA. I was in a good routine for a while, going two or three times a week. I tried swimming for a while, but that has slipped too. I did actually go to the Y yesterday, but just to use the bathroom. Restrooms are scarce downtown, so my membership comes in handy for that at least.

I feel a faint stirring, a desire to go and work out so I can get back to being more comfortable in my jeans, and so I can assume that homeless people are really asking me if my name is Frank.

I thought when all the kids were on their own and I had time, the quest for fitness would become easier. So far, it hasn’t automatically happened. In fact, it’s worse. I didn’t fully appreciate how much of my chasing the kids around was literal chasing, counting for at least some exercise. Now I don’t get that.

I have the time, and I actually enjoy going there. The atmosphere is great–so Berkeley, people of every shape, size and age–the classes are the right balance of challenging but not intimidating, and they are offered at times that work for me. So what’s holding me back?

I think it’s another area where my brain hasn’t quite caught up with my new almost-empty nest status. I have spent so many years being available to everybody else that I balk at taking time for myself. I may put my Y classes in my weekly schedule, but when the time comes, I let other priorities–and other people’s priorities–squeeze them out.

I have some new reasons now to keep the creaks and kinks at bay. I want to be able to enjoy the great trips we are starting to talk about now that we can see some larger windows of time and opportunity opening up. If I’m going to hike the Tour de Mont Blanc and walk the Camino de Santiago, I’ll need to start soon to get in shape. My suggestion of taking an all-terrain Segway has so far been scoffed at.

I’m beginning to anticipate chasing my grand babies around too, and I want to be the fun grandma who has not only the time but the energy to take my kids’ kids on adventures with me.

So, it’s in the schedule for next week: Yoga on at least 2 days, and I’ll work some swimming in over the next couple weeks. When motivation wanes, I’ll think about my homeless friend. Next time I’ll inform him that my name is not Frank.