Well, it’s actually text and call. I’m at my kids’ text and call.

When something comes up–problems, joys, news, questions, plans–I get a text. Or I send one. Whole conversations take place over text. I started texting when it became the most reliable way to get a hold of my kids. When they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) answer a phone call, they would read and respond to a text.

In the days of flip phones, it was terse, more like a telegraph, with just the bare minimum of words– “Get home now, ” or “Where are you?” Now that we have a full QWERTY keyboard at our fingertips, texts have expanded.

They can be surprisingly personal. Everybody has their own texting accent. Some are standard English, complete with proper puctuation, others are slapdash, with short phrases, periods and question marks optional. Some use slang and abbreviations, others are wordy and descriptive.

With or without frills–emojis, pictures, videos, links–personality comes through. The other day, one of my texters sent me this message about lunch in his distinctive style: “Yo that sandwich was on schmack.” I’m pretty sure that means he liked it.

Even serious conversations take place this way.  I’ve informed the family of sad news, like the death of an elderly family member, over group text. With everyone seeing and responding to each other’s texts, it is a sweet way to be together in  sad times

When the text hints at something bigger, I follow up with a call. Making or answering a call is a bigger time commitment than tapping out a text. Texters can multitask; they can be in public, in a meeting, in class, even in the bathroom and carry on a full conversation. With a phone call, more attention is needed, and it requires stepping away from other people and activities.

A text came the other day, “Mom, I’m really wrestling with whether or not college is right for me right now.” This needed more than a few cheery words. I called and learned that a bad situation with a roommate had gotten to be too hard. When I can hear the tone in a voice, or the tears behind the words, I can get a better sense of what is going on and be a support and encouragement.

Because so much talking is done via text, phone calls have become the long, newsy, handwritten letter of modern communication. On the phone, we can have a good, old-fashioned chat. Quick calls don’t happen as much; when we get on the phone, conversations can sometimes last an hour or two, like a remote coffee date.

I am so glad I can be at their text and call–I love having the space in my life to be available to connect with them when life happens. They leave home, but they are still often on my mind. A little text–or maybe a long phone call–lets them know they are loved.