“You went to UC Berkeley? But you’re so normal!” Living in Colorado, this was the kind of response we got to our Alma Mater. Berkeley, apparently, has a reputation that doesn’t translate well into midwestern Suburbia.

When we moved back to California in 2003, our Cal school spirit was awakened and we started going as a family to watch Golden Bears football on Saturday. Being back on campus made Steve and I feel like kids again, and all our children loved the excitement. It was one of the few things that everyone in the family–from second grade to high school–loved to do.

Whether is was the new Cal gear from the student store, the intriguing older students, the fun of the traditions, the stadium hot dogs, soda and cotton candy, or the game itself, everyone enjoyed our days packed into the wooden seats of the family section at Memorial Stadium.

Every fall since then–with the exception of the year we couldn’t bear to watch loss after humiliating loss–has been shaped by Cal’s home-game schedule. The number of season tickets has  dwindled, though, as kids graduate and leave home, and the smaller the group gets, the stronger the pull of other activities becomes. We have three tickets this year, with only one kid living at  home, but we often have an extra ticket when that lonely-only decides he has more options than just cheering with Mom and Dad.

There’s a momentum to family events that shifts with the numbers of participants, and is complicated by the ebbing influence parents have on their children’s lives. Our gravitational pull was strong when they were young; we were the center of their world. As friends, studies, jobs, sports, and romance  begin to catch and  hold their attention, we become one of many voices tugging at their time and attention.

There seems to be acceleration, too–the first kids were slow to disengage, siblings providing a little more family stickiness. When the fifth child spun off to pursue his own interests, he seemed to loosen our pull on the  youngest as well. Somehow the idea of family time changed for our baby when it became Mom and Dad focusing on him alone.

It’s game day today, and our youngest is using his ticket–along with an additional one for his girlfriend. We do what we can to keep our place in his world.

Go Bears!